Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
