I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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