I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I love you.
Bad choice
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
