Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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