I hate your face
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
