we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
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