That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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