the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
