Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
