I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
