Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Come share oat with me in your robe
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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