ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
