I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
