Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
