He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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