? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She announced her abortion via fbk
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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