So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
