I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
