I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
