So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
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