Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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