Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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