So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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