I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
