went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Someone signed my nipple.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
