threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
