she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
