I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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