I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
this beer tastes like vomit already
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
