and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
