Whod you bang
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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