I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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