I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
