Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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