u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
