the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
