today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
