Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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