I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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