He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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