Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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