There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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