so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
