I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
