we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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