i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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