this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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