White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
