For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
her facebook's as public as her vagina
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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