Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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