Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
